drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
