I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
