Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
