at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize