I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
