I puked a lego.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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