If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
