in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm both gender and math confused
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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