remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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