JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if only i could text you this smell
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
