Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
