So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
