why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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