Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
