I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
