Where did you get a picture of my penis
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
