I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
