So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
