Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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