i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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