i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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