You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
