I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
