You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
