Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize