just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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