Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
