yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
