Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
