This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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