i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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