What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
