My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
