Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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