He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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