we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
