You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
