HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
