My hair reeks of homosexuality.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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