Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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