U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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