I showed him my bush... on skype.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
