I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize