Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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