I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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