She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize