we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize