I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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