i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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