curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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