My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
