hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can text with my tongue
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
