She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
