Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
