He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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