I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
