I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
