my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
