can u get pink eye on your cock?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
