Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
