But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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