Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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