I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
