thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize