woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize