I want to make a zoo with you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I think my moral compass just broke
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
