people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
