You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
