Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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