walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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