Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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