She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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