You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize