how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Houston, we have a squirter
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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