3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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