If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
