It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Everclear isn't food dammit
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
