he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
