Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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