I can text with my tongue
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
