maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize