He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
