I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
