were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
