matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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