i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
