Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
