I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
